Cabbage Tastes Bad on Pizza: Life Sucks (For Cabbage)
Narrarator: Welcome to the first exciting episode of "Cabbage Tastes Bad on Pizza!" I can tell right
now that this show won't last a single season!
Cabbage: Hey!! Isn't it about time you told what's going on now?!
Narrarator: I suppose... ahem. Cabbage, our hero, has just arrived at his long-awaited summer at Computer Camp. He doesn't know anyone
yet, so he goes to mingle with the other campers.
Cabbage: Look! That kid looks nice...
Cabbage walks over to the boy
Cabbage: Hey! What's your name?
Kid: Huh? Oh, I'm Spee--!
The boy looks at Cabbage and cringes
Kid: Get away from me, nerd-boy! Go on, shoo!
The boy walks over to another camper and starts to talk to him
Cabbage: What a jerk! Maybe someone else will be nice.
Cabbage walks over to a different camper.
Cabbage: Hi! Do you like the Ninja Lasagna Rats?
Camper: The Ninja Lasagna Cats?! Eww! The NLR's blow! Don't tell me you like them?!
Cabbage: Actually, I love em! See, I have the action figure of Greedy Salmon, and the manga issue where Big Sneeze steals Jolly
Messer's trumpet to get a summon some beetles and get a present from them!
The camper rips up his manga, throws his toy into the woods, and punches Cabbage in the stomach!
Camper: Take that you stupid nerd!
Cabbage: I'm not a .. nerd... I'm an ... otaku..! Cough cough!
The camper leaves, and a boy comes over to Cabbage.
Boy: Are you okay? That kid's a jerk!
Cabbage: I guess i'm okay, but he ruined all my cool stuff! That Lasagna Rats manga was limited edition!
Boy: You like the Ninja Lasagna Rats? Me too! Hi, my name's Yapich. What's yours?
Cabbage: I'm Cabbage. Say, do you have the Lasagna Rats video game?
Yapich: Yeah! Beat it 23 times. I even made a sequal for the Computer!
Cabbage: !! Duper?? i'm you're biggest fan! Hey, wanna bunk together?
Yapich: Sure, Cabbage.
Narrarator: Zzzz... Zzzz... Huh! What? ...Oh! Well, that was a great start to a great series...? ...who writes this crap!?
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