No time for jokes

NARRATOR: It was a beautiful day in Little Tokyo. As usual, the Big Cheese was planning a plot against the SPC. Let’s hear what their new plan is.

BIG CHEESE: The robot is finished right?

JERRY: Ummm, actually, we are missing some parts.

BIG CHEESE: What! How can we be missing parts?!

Big Cheese’s face was turning bright red.

JERRY: I don’t know. I think I hear my mom calling me.

BIG CHEESE: I didn’t hear anything! This makes me really mad!

JERRY: I think you should calm down. I have another plan.

Big Cheese’s face returned to normal color.

BIG CHEESE: Let me hear it.

JERRY: We katnapp the SPC and bring them here. We then make them our slaves. I had the crow find their hideout. It is at a little pizza shop and they disguise themselves as workers.

BIG CHEESE: What a great idea I just had. Why don’t we katnapp the SPC and make them our slaves.

JERRY: Just what I was thinking ,sir.

NARRATOR: Meanwhile, unaware of Big Cheese’s plot, the SPC for once had no costumers.

FRANCINE: I just don’t get it Polly. Why isn’t anyone comming?

POLLY: I don’t know and where are Speedy and Guido! They may have something to do with this.

FRANCINE : Hey. Whats all the comotion outside?
NARRATOR: They decided to go out there and have a look for themselves. Across the street, a new pizza resturant just opened.

FRANCINE: Hey! A new pizza resturant is taking all of our costumers. Let’s go pay them a visit.

NARRATOR: So they walked the across the street and went inside. Polly and Francine were pushing their way through the coustomers.

POLLY: Excuse me! Move out of the way jerk!

FRANCINE: You don’t have to be so rude you know.

Polly turned around.

POLLY: I’m not being rude! She turned back around and continued pushing her way through the crowd.

NARRATOR: When they got inside, they were shocked at what they saw. Guido and Speedy were working there. Polly got really mad now. She walked right up to both of them.

SPEEDY: We’re in for it now.

GUIDO: I’m not. You did it for the money. I was under pressure.

POLLY: What do you think you are doing helping out another bussiness! You are in for it now! She let out her claws on her right hand and tried to scratch them when Francine pulled her arm back.

FRANCINE: Let’s hear their reason before we go killing them. Guido and Speedy sighed with relief.

GUIDO: You see, it was like this. Speedy decided right away because of the money. I on the other hand said no but I had to say yes when your boss threatens you to Extra’s Island.

FRANCINE: You mean? Princess Vi?

SPEEDY: Yup! POLLY: Move out of the way Guido! This alley cat is dead!

SPEEDY: Why isn’t Guido? POLLY: Because he was forced to. You weren’t.

She jumped kicked him and he went through the glass window. Guido flinched.

GUIDO: That has got to hurt. POLLY: I hope he’s o.k? I didn’t mean to kill him. I just meant to serverly hurt him.” She and Francine smiled. They ran to Speedy to see if he was all right.

SPEEDY: I’m fine guys. Just a scratch. Really though, Speedy was cut up pretty badly. Vi came out and started to yell at them about being lazy and to get to work. They got back to work. Even Speedy after Francine bandaged him up.

NARRATOR: Big Cheese sent Bad Bird and his crow hinchmen to katknapp the SPC. I wish I knew how they found out their HQ and their secret identites. I guess it’s in the script. Anyway, Francine decided to lower the price of their pizza and pretty soon, they were crowded instead of the other pizza place. I wish that pizza place had a name. Well it does, I just can’t read Japanese and it isn’t in the script.

Anyway, late that night, Bad Bird snuck inside the Pizza Place of the SPC with his crow hinchmen close behind. Bad Bird went into Polly’s room and saw her fast asleep.

CROW: Are you sure that is Polly?

BAD BIRD: It has to be her because her name is on her door.

CROW: But doesn’t she wear a red uniform even when she is serving pizza?

BAD BIRD: I don’t know. Let’s just get her and go.

CROW2: Bad Bird, there is another female cat in the next room.

BAD BIRD: What! I thought there was three of them?

CROW2: We all thought that. What should we do?

BAD BIRD: Take both of them back while I find Speedy and Guido.

NARRIATOR: What they didn’t know was that Speedy and Guido had rooms in the other place. Bad Bird couldn’t found them and flew home. The next mourning, the town was in shock because the SPC Pizza Place was closed.

GUIDO: It’s not like Francine to open late. Why is it so dark?

SPEEDY: I don’t know Guido but we should check it out.

They were about ready to when Vi pulled them back by their tails.

VI: Where are you guys off to?

SPEEDY: We’ll tell you as soon as you let go of our tails.

VI: I forgot about those. She let their tails go.

GUIDO: We are just going to check up some friends of ours at the Pizza Place across the street.

VI: Before you go, I have something to tell you. YOU BOTH ARE FIRED!!!!

SPEEDY: What! You can’t do that to us! We know the writers and the producers! VI: And I have the power to Exile you and stop airing your show!

GUIDO: In that case, you can do whatever you want to with us.

VI: I knew you would see it my way. NOW GET OUT!

She kicked them out of the resturaunt.

SPEEDY: I don’t know what is worse. Getting beat up by Polly or being kicked by Vi. At least Polly knows the number to a chiropractor.

GUIDO: Well, the girls will be happy that we are comming back to work for them.

NARRIATOR: They went into their old work place and looked around.

SPEEDY: I now know that something is up since the place is so dirty. Francine would not put up with this much dirt.

Guido just came from Polly’s and Francine’s rooms.

GUIDO: They aren’t here and they didn’t leave a note.

The phone rang and Guido answered it.

GUIDO: I hope this is a beatiful girl or I’m hanging up.

AL: I hate to dissapoint you Guido but their is an emergency. The Big Cheese has kidknapped Polly, and Francine. You guys have to stop them.

GUIDO: Francine is the one who can operate the gun. How can we transform?

AL: You think about that cause I have to go. My mother is in town and boy is she peeved.Bye guys.

Al hanged up the phone.

SPEEDY: Why rush Guido. With the girls gone, we can do what ever we want. Like, throw parties and invite only girls.

GUIDO: That an’t a bad idea.

SPEEDY: This is going to be great!

The Mother and Son walked inside. You know, the ones who alwas say something after the SPC get shot out of the gun. Anyway,

MOTHER: We operated one of these before. We can help.

SPEEDY: That’s quit all right you see, we don’t want them back.

SON: You hear that mom. They don’t want them back.

MOTHER: Why did you repeat what they just said?"

SON: It was the writers idea.

GUIDO: We deffinitly need a new writer. Anyway, we would be glad for you to help us.


GUIDO: Let’s go Speedy. We have friends to save.

SPEEDY: I’m the leader and I say we don’t go.

Guido and the mother pulled Speedy by his feet and threw him into the chute. Guido then jumped in. The Mother let her son make the announcement.

SON: The PC are off on another mission. If I can ask you to please stay 10 feet away from the place you will not get cancer. Have a good day. One! Two!

Speedy and Guido were shot off in the direction of the palace but ended up hitting the side of a tree.

SPEEDY: I’m starting to miss Francine. At least she shot high enough so we wouldn’t hit any trees.

GUIDO: That’s true but we usualy end up hitting the side of a mountain or building.

They both slid down the tree and landed on their butts.

NARRIATOR: They decided to walk the rest of the way. Big Al was waiting paitently for them. He had a big bandage on his head. I wonder what happened?

They walked inside and saw the bandage on Big Al’s head.

GUIDO: I see things didn’t go so with you and your mother.

AL: Are you kidding? They sure didn’t. I sent her off with Empeor Fred and she should be out of my hair for a while. At least until the next commercial.

SPEEDY: Do you know where Seymore’s hideout is?

AL: You bet.

GUIDO: How did you find out?

AL: For once I actually remembered my lines and study them."

SPEEDY: All right. Where is it?

Al frooze for a minute.

AL: Hang on, let me check the script.

Speedy and Guido rolled their eyes. Al pulled out a stack of papers and began to search.

AL: Oh yeah. Follow this here map. They have changed it for some reason.

Speedy grabbed the map and ran out the door.

AL: What’s gotten into him?

GUIDO: He got into to much catnip. Anyway, thanks."

AL: No problem.

He waved good-bye to Speedy and Guido.

NARRIATOR: When they arrived at Big Cheesse’s hideout, the ninja crows were waiting for them.

GUIDO: This is a piece of pizza pie. Would you like to do the honours Speedy?

SPEEDY: With pleasure.

He put his hand on the Ginsu sword and pulled it out and did his usual routine.

SPEEDY: Prepare to taste steal!

The red blade shot out and knocked out all the crows.
GUIDO: Let’s go find our friends.

They approached a room where the door was just slightly open. They peeked inside. They couldn’t believe their eyes. Jerry and Seymore were running around doing stuff for Francine and Polly. Polly saw them. She got up and walked over to the door and stepped outside.

POLLY: Be quiet guys. We promised that we would help Seymore help find you and bring you to him if they were our slaves. We weren’t really going to turn you in. We have them wrapped around our little fingers so just play along.

She grabbed Guido and speedy by their collars and dragged them inside.

POLLY: You kept your side of the bargin and we kept ours. Remember though that if we turned them in, we would go free.

BIG CHEESE: You guys are the best! How can I thank you. Just so you PC know, you and Francine aren’t going free but will be joining your friends instead. I love politics. Don’t you Jerry?

JERRY: Not really.

SEYMORE: What do you know!

The chair that Francine was sitting in opened up and she fell through into a room. The floor where Polly, Speedy, and Guido were standing on opened up to. They all landed in a round room, with no windows, and snakes.

FRANCINE: Snakes! I hate snakes! Get them away!

She tried climbing the walls but forgot their was no place to place her claws and she fell. Guido caught her.

GUIDO: Chill out Francine. They aren’t even real. They are plastic.

Francine blushed.

POLLY: Don’t woory about it Fran. It happens to the best of us. Right Speedy?

Speedy managed to stcik his spword onto the wall away from the snakes and was holding on to it. He was shaking.

POLLY: Get down from their you chicken.

SPEEDY: Why isn’t Francine called a chicken then?

POLLY: Because she is a girl and it is natural!

She and Francine laughed. Guido let Francine down while Speedy jumped down.

GUIDO: What now?

SPEEDY: Find out a way out of here.

POLLY: Why would he place plastic snakes in here instead of real ones?

FRANCINE: He probably can’y read and didn’t know that it said plastic snakes on the box instead of real snakes. What do you expect from a cross-dresser?

They all laughed except for Speedy.

SPEEDY: Come on guys. We need to get out of here. I don’t like the dark either.

POLLY: Some leader we have. He’s afraid of everything.

GUIDO: You should be the leader Polly. You aren’t afraid of anything.

POLLY: Really? I need to mention soemthing about to our producer. Will you back me up?

GUIDO: I would be glad to.


SPEEDY: While you guys were poking fun at me? I found a way out.

He pushed a block and an openeing appeared. Speedy smiled at Polly.

SPEEDY: Ladies first?

POLLY: You are pathetic but thanks.

She crawled through followed by Francine. Speedy was last. When they reached a opening and crawled out, they all fell into the river below. Since their was no ledge to surrport them.

SPEEDY: I can’t swim! Help me!

POLLY: Do I have to do everything.

She grabbed Speedy by his hand and lead him to the shore. Guido and Francine were already there.While Polly and Speedy were swimming to shore, Guido smiled.

GUIDO: Speedy is such a actor. He was first place on his swim team. How low can a guy get.

The shore they had landed on was a beach and lots of people were there. Speedy saw a croup of girls and ran over to them.

GUIDO: Any ladies interested in a tough but sweet cat? The line starts here and if your lucky, you may win yourself a stud.

Francine laughed at him as the others climbed onto the shore. Polly threw Speedy on the sand and ran to Francine.

POLLY: Whats so funny?

FRANCINE: You should have heard what Guido said to those girls over there. He called himself a tough but sweet stud.

Polly burst out laughing. Meanwhile the Big Cheese was throwing a fit.

BIG CHEESE: What do you mean they escaped? How could they? Didn’t those snakes kill them?

JERRY: They were plastic sir. You wouldn’t believe me though.

BIG CHEESE: It’s not my fault I failed the 1st grade ten times! I had lack of moral surrport! This makes me burning mad!

He exploded.

JERRY: Remind me to get life insurance all right Seymore?

He passed out

NARRIATOR: Indeed Jerry got life insurance but it cost him lots of money. Anyway, Francine was on the phone with this cute guy.

GUIDO: Who’s that Francine?

FRANCINE: A friend from school I met. He’s in town and wanted to get together sometime.
She giggled and continued talking to her friend.

NARRIATOR: And so the SPC won again as usual. Goodbye you guys out their in TV land and tune in tommorow for an episode that is actually exciting. Good night.

SPEEDY: I heard that!

The End